Friday, August 11, 2006

Words

I was just thinking about words to day, and how we use them and what they actually mean.

Like the word "insult". I ocassionally lurk at right-wing sites, and occasionally post. I find it interesting that "cunt" "bitch" and "slut" are perfectly legitimate slurs, but if I say what you said was "sexist" or "racist" I'm the one being insulting.

This always confused me until my friend Pretty Eric pointed something out to me: when people hear these words, they don't hear a critism, they hear "a generic word meaning "bad"".

"Sexist" and "racist" doesn't mean that you are a horrible, evil person: it means you need to examine your prejudices and your motivations. If you say "all women are.." and I say that it was sexist, I want you to examine how you can say "all women" as if we were cookie cutouts. If you say "all blacks" I want you to think about this, just like when I was first introduced to race-orientated blogs, I had to grow accustomed to how uncomfortable they made me (as a white women).

"Mercy" and "gift" are other words that I think that people need to examine. When people talk about the "deserving poor" I think they misunderstand what mercy is. Mercy, by definition, does not need to be deserved. When Katrina hit, and people were talking about how these horrible black people were not "grateful" enough I clenched my jaw. Gratitude has nothing to do with why you give charity. You help those in need because it's the right thing to do: you do it for yourself and your own ethics, not other people's gratitude.

This is why charity is supposed to be given anonomously. Because, for some reason, it is still seen as a matter of "pride" not to get charity. The person giving the charity gets to be self-righteous and smug, and the person recieving has to be humbled if you give charity in public. The person recieving charity now "owes" the other. Giving charity isn't about stripping someone else's dignity: in my mind it's about truly enlightened self-intrest: you help others because they will help you when you need it. You help others because the world is a better place when others' needs are met. You help others to make the world (sap alert) a better place to live for everyone.

The same thing with "gifts". "Gifts" mean that you give it with no strings attached: it is an expression of affection and joy, not of trying to get something in return. When you give something with the expectation of getting something back, it becomes a "bribe" not a gift.

For instance, when I first moved out of the dorms, my parents said that they would pay for my rent. This was a gift, because they loved me. Well, that "gift" ended when I decided that the most economical thing was for me to move in with my boyfriend. This was not a "gift" this was a bribe: a bribe to get me to pretend to believe in their values.

It's the same thing when a guy takes a female out to dinner, not to be nice or give a gift, but because he expects he will get laid. When he doesn't get that sex, you would be surprised (or not) how quickly the female becomes a "greedy bitch".

We need to quit have an expectations that do not match up with good morality. We need to realize that we are interlinked, and what you do to other people, it will happen to you. Call it karma, call it the Rule of Three, call it Christ's call that "what you do the least of my brethern you do to me" call it enlightened self-intrest; the end result is the same: when we help others, we help ourselves.

9 Comments:

At 5:27 PM, Blogger Good Ol' Boy said...

Were the blogs that used the descriptive terms "cunt" "bitch' or "slut" truly right wing blogs? Did they identify themselves as such outright, or what criteria did you use to assess this? Can you name them here for us?

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Goddess Cassandra said...

Those are quotes: they aren't implied (although a lot more sites have implied them). They self-identified as conservative.

The sites I'm thinking of particularily are Gonzo's Go Go Bar and Grill, and Red state immigrant in California.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Good Ol' Boy said...

I will check that out. Thanks!

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger Goddess Cassandra said...

Although, that's not to imply that left-wing are immune. Daily Kos can be downright vulgar and smirkingchimp.com can be just as bad. But normally, the administrators cull that.

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger Semireg said...

Re: "It's the same thing when a guy takes a female out to dinner..."

Man vs. Guy vs. Male
Female vs. Chick vs. Gal

Men/Man/Women is a power-term. Male/Female seems neutral. Guy/Chick is modern slang.

Sometimes a duder will yell, "hey guy, don't touch that" in which "guy" is a pejorative. Chick? Same thing in my eyes.

'When he doesn't get that sex, you would be surprised (or not) how quickly the female becomes a "greedy bitch".'

^ And this? It sounds like some kind of sensational mockery of the general guy's relation with the general invocation of "female." Get off it... please.

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger Belok said...

Have you ever read Mother Terese's Nobel Peace Prize lecture?? It's really worthwhile! The reason your post reminded me of it is how you concluded that we are better off the more we give ourselves to each other as honest gifts instead of bribes. I hope you enjoy reading this:

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1979/teresa-lecture.html

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Goddess Cassandra said...

Semireg: "chick" is dimunitive, and I consider it a slur. I am not a baby chicken.

^ And this? It sounds like some kind of sensational mockery of the general guy's relation with the general invocation of "female." Get off it... please.

No idea what you are trying to say. If you are questioning if this actually happens, you have to be the most niave poster I've ever had.

belok-

Thanks for the link, I'll look into it

 
At 3:55 AM, Blogger hexyhex said...

I can't say I've noticed "cunt" on the right wing sites I've spent time on, which are mostly fundie Christian sites. "Bitch" shows up fairly often. "Slut" is almost more common than "the".

 
At 1:21 PM, Anonymous holy cow! said...

"For instance, when I first moved out of the dorms, my parents said that they would pay for my rent. This was a gift, because they loved me. Well, that "gift" ended when I decided that the most economical thing was for me to move in with my boyfriend. This was not a "gift" this was a bribe: a bribe to get me to pretend to believe in their values. "

Why would you expect your parents to pay for your boyfriends rent?
You parents might have thought that with the addition of another rent payer, the burden would be less on you, so they did not pay any more.


"It's the same thing when a guy takes a female out to dinner, not to be nice or give a gift, but because he expects he will get laid. When he doesn't get that sex, you would be surprised (or not) how quickly the female becomes a "greedy bitch"."


So every male that takes a female out to dinner expects sex?

 

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